I don’t miss smoking, yet I also have been away from smokers and cigarettes for 12 days and this will no longer be the case when I return to university for summer term. When I was outside the other day, I realised my smoking habit made me believe that a pleasant moment wouldn’t be anywhere as good without a cigarette. Looking back on that now, it is such a stupid thing for me to have thought, because even though I only haven’t smoked for 12 days, I notice I have more energy in the day which makes me have a brighter outlook on my day too.
According to my quick research, I have gotten past the hardest physiological part of the withdrawal. I didn’t struggle with withdrawal much because I quit at the same time I experienced a horrific hangover. Therefore the idea of smoking at that time became putrid, and then when I decided not to bring any cigarettes or tobacco with me to my family home, I didn’t feel any urge to smoke at all. I notice I repeat ‘I’ alot but this is my reflection afterall and to be brutally honest I wonder how long I’ll last before I do the walk of shame to the shop and buy some cigarettes or tobacco. Smoking is a very shameful habit in my family, even though literally all of my adult immediate family members have been hard smokers in their lifetime. Yet I guess that means the shame comes from experience.
I know I said I don’t miss smoking but yesterday when I caught a whiff of someone’s Marlboro Red cigarette it made me want one so badly, but only for a minute, I want to think of it as a fleeting thought in that moment. Since I am a university student, the easier option would be to settle with being a social smoker, to only smoke if offered a cigarette. However, the temptation to get a packet for myself could follow straight after therefore it depends on how much willpower I will have 2 weeks from today.
What I know for sure is that I will not be replacing cigarettes with a vape. I find vapes to have awful flavours that are overly sweet and the feeling from vape liquid trickling on the mouth is one of the worst physical sensations ever. I always cringe a little when I receive a waft of a cotton candy vape cloud directly from my face but I guess people thought the same of me when the smelt the putrid cigarette smoke wafting around them at a bus stop.
On a positive note, my friends reaction to my no smoking streak was very kind and sweet. I noticed they all had to mention ‘keep going’, yet I guess you would have to if someone told you they gave up a habit thats widely considered to be cancerous and dangerous. When I started overthinking the consequences of having a cigarette after not touching one for almost 2 weeks, I came across the concept of:
Would I be restritcting myself from some moments of bliss and relief by not allowing myself a cigarette sometimes?
I feel like if I did allow myself a cigarette, the timeline of my addiction could go down 3 different routes. 1 being, I become a super light smoker and have 2 packets of cigarettes maximum a month. 2, I get so disgusted by that cigarette I don’t feel the urge to have another anytime soon. 3, I realise I missed the effect so much and immediately return to chainsmoking.
Since I’m pivoting between the pros and cons of smoking, I should give the pros some more spotlight. I am really enjoying how: none of my clothes smell of cigarette smoke, I can enjoy the taste of my meals more, I no longer have a coughing fit when I brush my teeth in the morning, I can enjoy more moments without thinking a cigarette is necessary, I am saving a considerable amount of money by not smoking and last but not least, my family are glad that I am not smoking currently.
When researching if people take breaks from smoking rather than completely quit smoking, I discovered that it is common for people to take temporary breaks from nicotine products and that it even has a name for it: ‘T-breaks”, meaning tolerance breaks. A 2 week T-break is known to be moderate break to lower tolerance and reduce dependency. Which ironically means if I do start smoking again, 2 days from now as I will have reached my 14 day streak, I could describe my failure to quit completely as an innocent and perfectly intentional T-break!
Furthermore, according to medicalnewstoday.com, ‘it can take more than 2 weeks for a person’s blood to reach the same cotinine levels as someone who does not use tobacco’, whilst ‘nicotine itself usually clears from the bloodstream within 1 to 3 days after the last use’ according to drugs.com. Reflecting on that makes me realise it’s quite a shame if I was to smoke again 2 days from now at the exact moment my cotitine levels turned back to a non smoker’s levels.
Some may be wondering why I am even talking about something as personal as this on my website. It’s not to perform wellness, truthfully it’s because a friend of mine gave me the idea to. I notice the internet is flooded with quit smoking apps and articles and showing off their milestone badges but these things don’t talk about the harsh reality that comes with quitting. Personally, with enough willpower, it is easy to take a break from smoking. But taking a break from smoking is much less impressive than quitting smoking for 15 years, like one of my teachers did. Truthfully, 2 weeks before starting this 12 day no smoking streak, I didn’t smoke for 3 days and the irritability I got from withdrawal was overwhelming. So this article isn’t a way to shame anyone who can’t stop smoking or simply doesn’t want to stop smoking, it’s simply here to expose my experiences from stopping so far.
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